You’re Not A Monster

I am a monster because of my illness …
I am a monster because of my illness …
I am a monster because of my illness …
I am not a monster because of my illness!
Being mentally ill does not make you a monster,
Being depressed doesn’t make you a monster,
Not wanting to crawl out of bed 90% of the time doesn’t make you monster,
Wanting to be alone for days, weeks, maybe even months doesn’t make you a monster!
Standing in front of a mirror and seeing something that no one else sees doesn’t make you a monster!
Having extreme reactions to certain things doesn’t make you a monster!
Having trouble deciphering what is and isn’t reality doesn’t make you monster!
So why, why apologize for something outside of your control?
Why must you apologize for being depressed? Bipolar? Schizophrenic? Anorexic? PTSD? Bulimic? Anxious? Suicidal?
Is it because of the disease itself or what we’re surrounded?
Why is it a taboo to even mention any of the following and more in public as if you’re airing out your dirtiest little secrets?
Is it because of shame society has towards it? The fear that they have of ‘catching’ it? Maybe it’s just flat-out ignorance that makes it ‘taboo’ to speak of one’s mental health as well as the overall attitude of wanting everyone to ‘toughen up’ instead of being empathetic.
When in all actuality, that attitude and view towards mental illness needs to be abolished.
Yes, loved ones may have their hearts in the right place with saying things like:
‘I’m here for you …’
‘Things will get better …’
‘I’m sure that if you did *blank* that you’ll feel much better …’
‘Snap out of it! We’re finally at *blank* and we need to *blank*!’
‘How about we just *blank*, huh?’
They basically deflect your illness – brushing it off as if it were a paper cut instead of what it is; an illness.
Yes, you are not your illness and it doesn’t define you but them indirectly aiding in the shaming and ignorance towards it only adds onto your shame whenever you do hit your rough patches of your disease.
They need to open their eyes and listen! Realize that ignoring it and not trying to learn about your disease is hurting you!
You shouldn’t feel guilty for needing some time alone, or wanting their company whenever you’re in a bad spot. You should be able to open up and tell them about how you don’t feel like eating or sleeping.
How your thoughts are plaguing you.
How you feel so close to the edge of wanting to end it all to end your suffering.
How you just want to stay in bed and maybe cry/listen to music all day.
Not be left ashamed for being mentally ill because of some false pretense society has put on the matter.
You’re just as much as a person as someone who has cancer or ‘normal’.
Don’t beat yourself up for having something outside of your control.
Don’t apologize for feeling whatever way that you do.
Committing suicide or being suicidal doesn’t make you selfish or weak. It is something you felt was the right thing to end your internal turmoil.
Being bulimic or anorexic doesn’t make you less of a person.
Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re crazy.
Schizophrenia equally doesn’t make you crazy.
Bipolar is a rollercoaster ride that people must realize is also beyond your control.
You just have to keep fighting and hold yourself up as much as you can. Get help from a therapist, treatment center, or an emergency hotline if you’re extremely out of sorts. Don’t forget to take your medicine if you’re on it.
But don’t allow yourself to wallow away in shame for something out of your control. It doesn’t define you and everyone must see that you’re still a person deep behind the veil of your illness.
Anybody with a loved one who has a mental illness: Please don’t flee or ignore them. Stick with them and talk it out. Don’t assume the worst of them because of their disease. They’re as much as a human as you are, so stop treating them as if they’re a monster whenever their illness comes up. I’m not asking you to coddle them or anything, just be you. Just be their friend, parent, sibling, or lover instead of acting as if they’re covered in cooties. Allow them to open up to you and love them. Be their rock when/if they do get help for their illness, but don’t forget about yourself either.
… And I think I’ve said everything that’s been on my mind for a while now that just intensified after a post I saw this morning.
Hope that you all are staying safe and having fun.
KY 🌸🌸


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