Found Script

Dick & Jane: Dick’s Near Death Experience

Dick: Devoted husband and father

Jane: Deceptive, sultry vixen; Dick’s wife and Nell’s mother.

Nell: Dick & Jane’s daughter

Act 1:

          A year ago, Dick and Nell stand in the driveway by a minivan in front of a suburban house.

Dick (hugs Nell as they stood in front of Mrs. Katy’s van): Be a good girl and have fun with Lizzy, OK?

Nell (nods her head, clutching a hello kitty backpack): Okay, daddy. I will.

(Nell kisses Dick’s cheek and gets into van before it leaves)

Dick (takes out phone as it starts to ring, putting it to his ear once looking at the caller ID): Jane, where are you? You’re supposed to be here by now. You just missed Nell and Katy.

Jane (Carefreely): Oh, I’m just doing an errand. Nothing special.

Dick (narrowing his eyes): But you were supposed to come back and see Nell off.

Jane: I missed my little pumpkin? Oh my, I must’ve spaced out.

Dick (resisting the urge of rolling his eyes as he made his way to his car): Yes you did miss Nell. I just handed her over to Katy for the day. What the h …

Jane (narrowing her eyes, clutching her phone even tighter): Don’t even think about it, Dick. Don’t even think of using that tone on me. I am not one of your co-workers, so step the hell back.

Dick (sighs, rubbing temples once getting in his car): Okay, but where are you?

Jane (flipping her hair over her shoulder, leaning against the desk beside her): Don’t worry, Dicky. I’m just doing something for one of my friends, then going grocery shopping. Chillax.

Dick (sighs, starting car): Fine, but make sure you don’t forget my favorite, OK?

Jane (smiles, looking at her manicured nails): I won’t forget. Don’t worry. Enjoy your day at work.

Dick (smiles into phone): I will. I love you.

Jane (air kisses): Love you too, honey.

(Dick and Jane hang up phone at same time)

(Dick pulls out of driveway, driving off to work)

(Jane smirks as she trails her fingers over her red-coated lips)

Man: Ma’am, I have some information on your husband. what would you like me to do with it?

Jane (without turning around): Just print it out and highlight anything you think I might like to know.

Man (nods head from his place at his computer): Yes, ma’am.

(Jane continues to smirk as the stage goes dark with the sound of the printer filling the room)

Act 2:

        Dick is riding down an elevator with two of his co-workers, one male and one female. It is nighttime and everyone is heading home.

Male Co-Worker: So, Dick, what are you planning on doing once you get home?

Dick (shrugs, taking out his cell phone): Probably cuddling with Jane and watching chick flicks with her.

Female Co-worker (smiles as the elevator stops): I wish that my husband was more like you sometimes, Dick.

Dick (chuckles as he exits the elevator): I know. I know. You always say that. But now it’s time for me to go. See ya tomorrow.

(Dick makes his way towards his car, completely oblivious to the sound of an engine revving as a car came speeding towards him)

(Dick jumps out of the way just on time before it could hit him. He watches as a familiar, slick black car disappears into the night and scowled as only one name came to mind)

Dick (thought): Jane


I choose this piece because it is showcases one of the times Jane had attempted to kill Dick as mentioned in “Dick & Jane” before the two divorced and Jane was put into an asylum.

Improvements that would be made are that it continued to Dick confronting Jane about her “attempt” at killing him with her car.


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