Dick & Jane


I looked around our bedroom, gathering up all of my belongings that Dick kept and straightened up to my full 5’3” height. Then I walked out of the room and went into Nell’s room, looking around. I spotted her blue bunny rabbit that I bought for her first birthday on her bed and picked it up, holding it against my bosom just as I heard the faint click of the front door opening and closing. I sat the bunny down on the bed and smirked.

‘Showtime,’ I thought, planning on scaring my dear ex-husband into his grave and smirked, making my way out of the room and towards the stairs when I heard the following words echo from downstairs in the living room: “Breaking News! It has been reported that three unstable beings have broken out of a nearby asylum! The first two were captured immediately and returned to the asylum to be put under close watch. The third one has been yet to be found, let alone identified. Please try and stay someplace safe, until this insane person is found. Coming to you from WJZ News.”

My red-coated lips tugged backwards into a smile, and I made my way down the stairs, my black heels echoing throughout the house as I descended. I can see that bastard’s face right now: terrified, filled with deep despair, and desperation that I’m back and that we’re all alone. It’s his fault that he has to die or lose something for putting me into a goddamn asylum! Now he shall pay. I flicked my hair over my shoulder once reaching the bottom and walked calmly into the living room, stalking over to Dick’s pathetic self. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind in a gentle embrace, lowering my head to brush my lips against his cheek to his neck and whispered in his ear, “Honey, I’m home. Missed me?”


“Honey, I’m home. Missed me?” came her husky, sultry voice from behind me, her warm breath brushing my ear and sent me into shivers. “What’s the matter? You don’t miss me? My feelings are hurt, Dick. I thought you loved me, “ came her voice again in mock hurt. I tugged away from her, jumping out of my chair and snapped around to look at her. “Please get out, Jane. We’re not going through this again!” I cried, glaring at the demoness standing before me that used to be my wife. “But I don’t want to. At least not without having Nell with me, or hurting you, “ she replied coolly, looking boredly at her fingernails. “You can’t have her. She’s my daughter and you can’t just waltz in here …” I shouted at her before she cut me off, boredom within her sultry voice as she mimicked me. “‘She’s my daughter and you can’t waltz in here and get her from me’ and blah blah blah blah blah. This is why we’re not together anymore. You talk too damn much and everything has to be yours. What about me?” she whined, pouting at me as her jade green eyes met my cerulean blue ones. “What about you? We’ve stopped thinking of you when you first tried running me over with my own car, “ I retorted, glaring heatedly at her. “Ooh, but sweetie, that was an accident. You were in the way and I was driving fast. So it’s your big-headed fault in that case, “ she giggled, leaning against my chair. “Would you please just leave? Nell will be home soon and I don’t want her to see you, “ I implored, trying to reason with her warped red-headed mind. “But what if she wants to see me, Dick? You can’t deny our daughter her mother, even if I’m crazier than the Grudge or Bloody Mary, which I’m not, “ she reasoned and smirked, knowing that she just hit a button just as she always did. “Janny, just leave please. Right now. Just go before …” my voice was cut off by the sound of the front door opening and slamming closed, followed by a small, high-pitched voice crying out, “Daddy, I’m home!” I glared at Jane, who got a strange look within her eyes that I didn’t recognized, and tried to prevent her from seeing our daughter by attempting to grasp her arms. Jane rolled her eyes, snorting and pushed me out of the way just as Nell walked into the room. Nell’s big, crystal blue eyes looked up at Jane, widening and uttered out softly, “Mommy?” Jane smiled at Nell and replied, “Yes, honey, I’m home. Why not a hug?” Then she kneeled down, spreading her arms wide to Nell and waited. Nell squealed and ran to Jane happily with a cry of “Mommy!”. She nearly knocked Jane over once crashing into her and held her mother tightly, oblivious to the smirk on her mother’s pretty face that sent shivers down my spine and raised the hairs on the back of my neck. Jane pulled away after a few minutes and said, “Okay, sweetie, it’s time for me to go now. But I must talk to your father about something important before I go.” “But I thought that you were …” Jane pressed a finger to Nell’s rosy lips with a gentle smile. “We’ll have a mommy-daughter day soon, but for now mommy has to do grown-up stuff right now. Understand?” soothed Jane. Nell nodded her head eagerly and hugged Jane one last time, running out of the room. Jane straightened up, turning towards me and crossed her arms over her chest, smirking once again. “So …. can I see her Saturday at least, or are you going to keep me away from her and lock her up, until I’m caught? I missed my little Pumpkin, “ she drawled as she stalked over to me. “I think … “ I protested. “You can’t say ‘no’, Dick. You know that you can’t. You never will, especially when it comes to Pumpkin, “ she cooed and trailed her fingers down my chest. I sighed and said, “Fine, but one screw-up. Just one. And I’ll take you back to that damn asylum myself. “ “Ooh, look who finally grew a pair. Big, bad Dick threatening little old me, the ‘crazy’ one. Tsk tsk tsk. Where’s your morals?” she poked me in the cheek with a long, black fingernail and snickered. Then Jane moved away, waving playfully at me and said, “Time to go now. Got some stuff to do. See ya in a week … Dick. “ I watched as she walked out of the room, letting out the breath that I was holding without noticing once the sound of the door opening and closing met my ears and sat down in chair. My heart racing as two thoughts crossed my mind. ‘What have I done? Should I trust her again?’

They continued to echo in my head, until only one thought repeated itself: ‘What have I done?’


I chose this story because it was one of the ones that I enjoyed writing alot and was able to get easily attached to all the characters involved, especially Jane from her being sassy and deceptive, yet in a way “crazy”.

What I would like to improve in this is by showing Dick having a lot more back bone than I characterized him as, even though it was amusing to see Jane seeming to easily top Dick without batting an eyelash.


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